Breakups are hard. Often, they are ignited by heated and unresolved tension not dealt with by the couple. If there’s any chance of repairing what has been broken, you need to change your approach to the situation. Here are some suggestions on how you can win back your ex after a breakup:
1. PUT DOWN THE PHONE
Sending an ex countless messages, whether over text or social media, is a mistake so many of us make. Don’t do this! This will likely result in your ex blocking your number and removing you from all their social media platforms. You need to keep the lines of communication because, ultimately, you want this person to reach out, right? So, put down the phone…PUT IT DOWN!
2. GO NO CONTACT
We hear of this in the media and other self-help books all the time and I share the same sentiment—avoid contact with your ex. You need to disengage and not make yourself too available. Your ex needs to experience what life is like without you. Normally, during this phase, your ex will start to reminisce about the good times the two of you had. Let this happen naturally, without your interference.
3. DON’T STALK YOUR EX
If you are going to obsess and track their every move, this is going to be unhealthy. As I said before, you need to keep the channels of communication open at all times. If your ex blocks you because you won’t leave them alone, it will make it more difficult for them to reconnect with you later. You can decide whether you are personally comfortable with unfriending or unfollowing. Do whatever it takes to avoid obsessing and overthinking their posts and pictures.
4. HAVE A GOOD CRY
It’s ok to be sad right now. You need time to mourn the relationship. Let yourself grieve in whatever way feels right, without judgement. If you need to stay in bed all day and cry, do it. If you want a movie marathon and a tub of ice cream, grab a spoon. If you want to go on a shopping spree with your BFF, enjoy! Make sure to include some self-care—do things that feel good but are also good for you.
5. CHANGE YOUR THINKING
You’ve cried and mourned the relationship, and now it’s time to move forward. In terms of potential and long-term reconciliation, you need to think of this relationship starting afresh. If things don’t change, you’ll just break up again. You don’t want that. To start over, you’ll likely need to change your perspective. Consider that you’re embarking on something new and you’ll have to change the things that resulted in the break up in the first place.
6. MOVE ON
This idea might be difficult to grasp, but it serves a purpose. You need to move on for what was, as you are looking for something new with your ex. You need to manifest and create new and positive energy. Be good to yourself. Reconnect with friends and do things that you enjoy. The best way to attract someone is to be your happy and authentic self. Once they see that you are perfectly fine without them, they may just come crawling back!
