In a perfect world, when we fall in love with someone, they return the feeling with equal passion. Of course, life is not a fairy tale and we don’t always get a happy ending. As many of us know all too well, the ones we love don’t always love us back.
When that happens, it can be devastating. You share you true feelings with a friend you’ve long pined for and they don’t feel the same. Your significant other has a change of heart and shatters your world with a breakup. You can’t stop thinking about the one that got away. In any form, unrequited love hurts.
In the aftermath, all you can do is take good care of yourself and work on repairing your heart. Try these steps to put the pain of unrequited love behind you:
TAKE TIME TO HEAL
Sometimes emotional pain can hurt just as much as a physical injury. If you sprain your ankle, you’re going to take some time to rest and treat it. Do the same for your heart. Go easy on yourself and try not to judge or criticize how you’re feeling right now. Don’t expect to feel 100% and give yourself time to recover. That doesn’t mean you should stay in bed all day, but you do have license to treat yourself to a spa day, your favorite food, or some retail therapy.
DON’T BLAME YOURSELF
Rejection feels pretty awful. You put your heart out there and it just gets stomped on. It’s easy to feel ashamed, insecure, and unlovable. There are so many potential matches out there for you, it’s very possible this person is just not the right one and it’s not because of your looks, your job or your personality. Don’t feel like you need to change everything about yourself now. Just because this person doesn’t return the feeling, doesn’t mean there isn’t someone out there who will.
ACCEPT THE REJECTION
The one you love doesn’t love you back. You can plead and argue and try to change their mind, but that just stops you from healing and it’s disrespectful to them. Accept that your relationship is not going to turn out how you want it to be and stop fantasizing that it will. Try to remind yourself that you deserve to be with someone who does return your feelings instead of waiting around for someone who doesn’t.
DON’T PUT THEM ON A PEDESTAL
It’s easy to find yourself wearing rose-colored glasses when you’re longing for what could have been. Stop thinking that the person you love is this perfect creature you can’t live without. You only see the parts of them you love and not their flaws. Take an honest look at who they are or talk it over with a close friend or family member that may have seen a different side of them.
KEEP YOUR DISTANCE
This can be a tricky step if you’re in love with a friend, classmate or colleague. If you have a good relationship with each other, it’s hard to understand why they don’t share your feelings and it’s easy to have moments where it feels like they might. Don’t string your heart along in hopes that something may develop. You need space from them, even if it’s just for a few weeks or months. Do whatever you can to create a distance so that you have room to heal.
GET BACK OUT THERE
It’s typical post-rejection advice, but getting out and meeting new people can really help you get over unrequited love. Don’t rush into it, but try to give yourself a little push to get out there. It’ll help you better examine what you want—was it really that person, the chase of someone you couldn’t have, or a relationship in general? Plus, you might just meet the person who will feel the same about you.
For some people, unrequited love seems to be a pattern. Do you often find yourself attracted to people who don’t feel the same about you? Do you worry that your relationships won’t last? Those who experience unreciprocated love may need to address their own insecurities and how they value themselves. It can be a challenging cycle to break but a spiritual advisor can help. Chat with a Zodiac Psychic to find out how.