At the start of a new relationship, it’s easy to spend a lot of time thinking about it. You’re head over heels for them and you can’t help but wonder if they feel the same. Perhaps you’re so into them, you desperately want them to return the feelings so you start analyzing every angle of the relationship to try and determine exactly how they feel. Perhaps you convince yourself it’s bound to fail so you end it before it even has a chance to begin or maybe you think this could be “the one”, so you hold on tight and drive them away with your clinginess.
Whichever way it goes, overanalyzing a relationship is often a death sentence. We want to find love and make it stick, but this desire can turn into sabotage. New relationships are nerve-wracking but the best method for success if just to wait and see. This can be a difficult thing to do for a number of reasons—you’ve been hurt in the past, you have trouble trusting others, you’re insecure, you lack experience, feel outside pressure to couple up.
Regardless of the cause, overanalyzing a relationship causes anxiety and stress for everyone involved, which is someone no new relationship needs. Here’s how you can start to break the habit:
Don’t play detective
People can often be taken at face value. When you like someone, you call when you say you’re going to call, you enjoy spending time with them, and you make plans with them. If your partner is doing the things that demonstrate their interest in you, stop looking below the surface. Don’t analyze everything they do and say and searching for some hidden meaning that reveals how they really feel about you. How they truly feel will be revealed in time—try not to think about it too much.
Distract yourself from overanalyzing your relationship. If you’re giving a new romance time to develop and grow, it’s going to take some patience so you may want to find some ways to stay occupied. Find a new hobby or dig back into an old one. Explore an interest, take a class, make plans with friends. Your relationship isn’t the only thing of value in your life and shouldn’t occupy your mind, or your heart, completely.
Stop sharing everything
Do you discuss every detail of every date with your friends or family? Take a break from the habit it for a while. You’re trying to avoid overanalyzing, remember? That includes thinking about the relationship too much and talking about it too much. It’s one thing to seek support when something is really stressful, but if you replay your partner’s every move to someone else, you may convince yourself of something that isn’t there before giving it time to play out.
If you’re going to worry, it’s best to set some guidelines. You texted him two hours ago and he hasn’t texted back, that means he’s ghosting you, right? Give your partner some time and space and don’t jump to conclusions, especially in the early stages of a relationship. Maybe he’s busy at work. Maybe he doesn’t check his phone a lot. Maybe it’s something completely harmless but you’ve been stewing over it for hours. Next time this happens, give yourself a window of time without worry. Tell yourself you’re not allowed to worry until the following day and take a mental break from the stressful thought.
No matter your best efforts, some of us are just worriers. When it’s something as close to our heart as a new romance, it just amplifies the anxiety. If patience isn’t an option, consider contacting a spiritual advisor. Love and relationship experts on Zodiac Psychics can help uncover the feelings you’re longing to reveal.