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How to Bring Back Intimacy in 5 Steps

5 Steps to Reignite Intimacy

When a relationship is new, it’s exciting. Just thinking of that special someone can give you butterflies in your stomach. And when you’re together, it’s electric. Yet, those feelings don’t always last. After years together, it’s not uncommon for some couples to lose that spark.

The chase of the romance and the mystery of our partner is long gone. Passion and excitement are easy at the start of a relationship, when there’s still so much to learn about each other, but it gets more challenging over time. Our partners become predictable and our relationship may become a little stagnant, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. It just means you may have to put in some extra effort.

If a relationship has plateaued, both partners must be willing to put in the work to get the romance back on track. These five tips can help to reignite the intimacy you once shared:


The little things can make a big difference. We may not always pay attention to the small ways in which our partners express estheir love, but we’re likely to notice when those little gestures go away. Find ways to plant the seed of affection in your relationship. A kind note, their favorite snack from the grocery store, a back rub. Consider what small acts of kindness will bring a smile to your partner’s face. Cultivate this affection and let it grow.


Life is busy. There’s no other way around. Maybe you’ve got kids, busy jobs, chores, or all of the above. Even if you’re occupied all day long, it’s important to carve out some time together. Spend 15 minutes before bedtime talking and connecting. Turn off the TV, put away your devices and just be present with each other. It’s time to share, listen and support.


Create a new experience to bond over. Take a cooking class, plan a day trip, try a new hobby. Finding an activity that both enjoy helps you connect and build closeness. Just remember not to take yourselves too seriously or put pressure on each other. The keyword here is FUN!


As much as fun activities can create intimacy, so can doing absolutely nothing together. Cancel all your plans, turn off the phones, and stay in bed all day. Cuddle, talk, watch movies, have sex. It doesn’t matter what you two spend your time doing as long as you relax together with absolutely no outside obligations. 


Intimacy starts within, and it can’t happen unless both partners are willing to be vulnerable. Open your heart, share your innermost thoughts and truly let your partner in. Be your genuine self, even when you’re sad, scared or emotional. Ask for help when you need it and let them support you.