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7 relationship red flags if you're seeking commitment

7 relationship red flags if you're seeking commitment

So, you’ve been dating someone you really like for months now but you’re still wondering where you stand. You’re head over heels and ready to call this thing a relationship but they avoid any conversation about your status. If you want to commit but your partner isn’t showing the same interest, it’s only a matter of time until you start questioning everything and letting the self-doubt and insecurity seep in. 

There’s nothing wrong with wanting a solid, committed relationship. Don’t waste your time with people who can’t give you what you need. Here are seven signs that the person you’re with won’t ever commit:

You don’t know anything real about them (and they never ask about you)

You know the basic details — where they work, their favorite band, what team they root for — but it’s all superficial facts, like the kind of stuff you’d learn from reading a dating profile. Consider what you really know about them, and what they know about you. Do they ever share anything deep or genuine with you? If they never reveal anything about themselves and they have little interest in learning anything about you, it likely means they don’t intend to get that close. 

They occasionally ghost you 

Has this ever happened to you? Everything seems to be going well and then they suddenly disappears. They don’t respond to texts or answer calls for a few days. Then, they reappear just as suddenly and act like it’s no big deal. Some who ghosts you or even frequently flakes on plans doesn’t respect you, doesn’t see you as a priority and doesn’t care if they lose you. Don’t make room if your life for someone who won’t make room for you.

They say they don’t want a relationship

It may sound obvious — someone says they don’t want a relationship so you don’t pursue one with them, right? Unfortunately, many of us think we can change someone, like if we play our cards right they’ll eventually change their mind. This is rarely ever the case. Often, “I don’t want a relationship” is code for “I don’t want a relationship with you”. If someone says they don’t want a relationship, believe them and save yourself some pain.

You’ve never been on a real date together

What does your typical date together look like? Do you ever go out or do you always hang out at one of your places? Many couples are perfectly happy staying in and cozying up with a movie, but if you’ve never gone out on a date together that’s not a good sign, especially if one of you is reluctant to do so. If the person you’re “dating” refuses to go on a real date with you or only seems interested when the plans involve sex, that’s not really dating. You deserve someone who wants it all. 

They never make future plans with you

In a new relationship, you can’t expect someone to be planning years or even months ahead. It’s good to take it slow. But, if they can’t commit to plans that are a couple weeks or days away, be wary. When someone really likes you, they won’t hesitate to schedule plans for next weekend. Your dates together shouldn’t all happen last minute. Sure, people get busy, but it shouldn’t be a struggle for them to make time for you in advance.

There are other people in the picture

You can’t commit if your heart isn’t in it. You really can’t commit if your heart is still with someone else. Someone who talks about their ex constantly, whether it’s positively or negatively, isn’t likely to commit to someone new. In the same vein, don’t waste time on someone who still has dating apps on their phone. If you’re not the only one they want, move on.

They don’t introduce you to family 

Maybe you’ve met a few of their friends or a work colleague but the true test of commitment is family. If you’re dating someone who is close to their sibling but refuses to introduce you when they come to town, that’s not a good sign. Sure, family introductions are a big step. It’s also a sign of maturity and commitment.